TODDLER RESOLUTIONS

Toddlers don't generally come up with their own New Years resolutions so I have a couple in mind for my daughter Ayeesha. These are only suggestions, of course, but they are really good ideas.

I think Ayeesha should resolve to consistently share, take turns and generally work on being more patient with others while also maintaining a strong sense of self. A simple list for a 21-month-old, right? You think this is too much to ask. Hmmmmm. Well, maybe, but a mom can dream!

One place I've been helping Ayeesha work on these goals (a.k.a Mommy's resolutions for Ayeesha) is at our local bookstore. This store has a train set in the kids' reading area and Ayeesha loves that train. As it turns out, ALL kids adore the train and they especially love the engine.

The engine is the prized temporary possession of every child who stands eagerly around the periphery of the rectangular table and gazes at the tracks winding across bridges and through tunnels. Kids reach out in a sea of tiny arms; clutching helicopters, airplanes, and colorful train cars. Eventually two or more kids reach for the engine. This is when the real games begin.

Conflicts over the single engine seem inevitable, but their resolutions are completely dependent on the personalities of the kids AND the adults involved. It's as if every one of us becomes a coach leaning in over the edge of a hypothetical boxing ring, except not one of the coaches REALLY knows what to do next. The situation changes every visit and so do the players. Every new strategy is an experiment and we just hope and pray to our own god or goddess of train engines that something works with as few tears as possible. It would be kind of hysterical except that I'm not just an observer. I have to play as well!

 

I usually stand near Ayeesha, but not right on top of her; or I sit in one of the chairs a couple of feet away, but I listen to everything. When it seems like a big disagreement is evolving, I'm there by Ayeesha's side to coach her through the discussions about who had what first or who needs the next turn. Sometimes I and the other adults who are "playing along" just look at each other and smile. Maybe we're all amazed at how frustrated our children can get over a tiny engine or rights to pass through a small wooden tunnel first. I try to stop and put myself in Ayeesha's shoes and I notice how passionate she and her peers are. It becomes obvious how much they are learning about themselves and others through their play. Then I understand -- in that particular moment, one small engine making it through one small wooden bridge means everything to a child.